------
Steppin' Out
Asshole Of The Week
By Chaunce Hayden
Jan 13 issue
It's no secret that I've gotten on Howard Stern sidekick Artie Lange on numerous occasions for his self-destructive ways. Whether it is his numerous drug addictions or his violent outburst towards those much smaller, Lange has earned more than his share of "Asshole of the Week" honors. Now, it seems Hoboken's infamous millionaire mental patient has officially taken the plunge (literally) to the rubber room side of showbiz.Apparently, Lange spent the holidays depressed over God knows what. Most of us can only image the horror owning a seaside mansion and enjoying a seven-figure bank account, but for Lange, there's nothing funny about being trapped inside the body of a bloated drunk. To finally end his misery, the eternally depressed comic—knowing his over-protective mom was on her way with food (what else)—proceeded to stab himself numerous times with a knife. As one might imagine, the first few wounds didn't make it past the several layers of Lange's well-earned mass, but mom was on the way, and time was running out. With one more overly zealous poke to the gut, Lange gave his horrified mother a Christmas image she would never forget.However, Lange's 350th cry for help at the unmerciful expense of his mother really isn't surprising. What is surprising is the crap his boss, Howard Stern, has been spewing since TMZ first broke the news of Artie's latest performance.Stern's nauseating rants over his love and support for Lange have become the only entertaining part of the once-popular radio show. Even though Lange has showed up for work high, fell asleep on the air, attacked co-workers and lied about his absence, Stern has vowed to stand by his bro. So, it only makes sense that the caring 56-year-old radio personality would reach out to his troubled "bro" during Lange's personal turmoil but such off-air love is far removed from any Stern reality. Since Lange's failed suicide attempt, Howard has neither called nor visited his faux friend.I once reported that Stern was an asshole for blowing off producer’s Gary Dell'Abate's dad’s funeral. Stern angrily fired back, blaming his absence on his fiancé, Beth Ostrosky, claiming she sprained her ankle. Just curious who Stern will blame this time…
"super" fans of Sfn discuss
No comments:
Post a Comment